i just realized that this summer’s gonna be a little bit different from other summers growing up. there were always trips to the beach, spontaneous jump into the car and drive out to the coast with my family. lots of crabs and eating dinner at some local Chinese restaurants, car infested with sand and lazy breezes in the stunning sunsets. I never dreaded those days, but I’m happy to have graduated from them. the thirst for something else is growing. yet I can sense an anticipated flare of melancholy. this summer’s gonna be the hot Chicago, maybe science in Cali, a little bit of teaching in Baltimore probably, but most likely the hot Chicago and music festivals and hazy nights with loud drunkards and endless light pollution. one of these summers, I want to head up north. or somewhere west. sometimes I don’t know what to do with my time anymore.