I'm Lu, nocturnal daydreamer, reckless scientist, pursuer of knowledge and euphoria.

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"A still more glorious dawn awaits."

March 24th
9:15 PM

just finished the Hobbit

dying

roll over

cries

November 2nd
8:35 PM

needy greedy

need to focus on tomorrow’s exams, need to sleep, need to read novels, need more time in the day, need to go see the stars the milky way the aurora the snow trees and snow foxes and snow falls and permafrost, need alaska alaska! need to focus focus focus, need to destroy distractions blogs computer screens the internet, need to let go of more and more and more but pick it back up need those things, need to sleep a full fucking week of deep uninterrupted sleep with no rambling thoughts and trivial visitations from the uninvited dreams, need to stop dwelling on them and live, need to write a book maybe, need some medicine medication medics, need to learn, need to control i’ve lost control and found control but utilizing it is different i’m difficult inexperienced young naive stupid, need to go back in time, need to work on this PAPER what am i doing, need to get off tumblr but no no no, need to go on tumblr never leave tumblr, need to make music or art, need to beautify, nothing is ever just as it is no physics science mathematics is not everything, need to stop seeing things feeling things, need to log off on out in away far far away, need to run, need to visit my parents talk to my brother, need to WIN do not lose, never! never underneath this anguish i will not lose, need to forgive i do forgive i do i do, i miss you, need to fade but not fade keep it in don’t falter don’t fall back never ever ever ever give up, need not again, not one more time never i am smarter than that, need time time time more time in the day to do shit i want, read novels, cook good food, go to dc, take pictures, watch the cosmos, talk to my friends, keep up with their lives, sleep i just want to sleep,  need to get skinny, eat right put on lotion drink water sell things make money do research destroy all humans fall in love, need a 4.0 this semester? but why, i let go already, i just wanna be happy okay, sick of angst anxiety, i know how it ends the stars will swallow us all why does it matter so much, need to breathe but not so heavily, need to taste something new something personal, freedom! need freedom! need money, money buys everything, money buys more novels! can’t i just read novels all day? need a library with books books and more books, need to settle, need to calm down lol what the fuck, need just that one thing ONE THING. peeeeeeeeeeace. give me some peace.